Just another day...

As my great grandmother would say. Today is my 23rd birthday, but it truly doesn't feel like it at all. There has just been so much going thru my head lately that I can't really grasp the concept of today being my actual birthday. Tonight is also Pyro's viewing. I just gave in this morning and decided I will be going. I think I have worked up enough courage, now I just need to get out to Riverside and get to the mortuary and get inside. That will be the hardest part. I wonder if my legs will allow me to walk inside? I know my heart keeps telling me different. Or maybe it's my mind? I think I may be doing it for closure. Just for that one last time type thing. I just don't know if I want to remember him like that. The last time I saw him was at Katey's baby shower, and I can remember everything about him from that day. Even down to the feeling of his awkward side hug. haha...
Katey and I got our shirts made last night at the mall. I can honestly say they turned out great. I will try and put up a picture soon of them. Basically we put "In Loving Memory Of Christopher "Pyro" Richards" and then his picture of him in Laughlin, totally acting like his crazy self, beer in one hand and a peace sign on the other, and then the dates 6/2/87-9/11/09. The guy making the shirts so generously pointed out the irony of the date of his death. Yeah, we know. It is kind of bizarre, but we'd all like to agree that he wasn't thinking when he left us on that day. =( On the back of the shirts we put the quote "...a golden heart stopped beating, loving hands put to rest, God broke our hearts to prove to us, he only takes the best..." Everytime I hear or read that, it makes me tear up!! I'm proudly wearing my shirt today to honor him. This is no longer just my day, it's his day too. It'll always be from now on.
Tomorrow morning I leave for Santa Barbara. My very much needed vacation!! I will be camping with my best friends family in El Capitan. I can't tell you how I've been looking forward to it. You think, 'she wants to go rough it it in a tent, get attacked by bugs and have no access to a computer for 4 days??' and I say OH HECK YESSS!! I just want to lay out on the beach, relax, listen to music, hang out with Alisha and her family and just let everything escape my mind. I can't wait until I can just get on the beach, close my eyes and drift away. Oh, it's going to be a great feeling of serenity.

And finally...it's so hard to say goodbye. So I'll see you soon Christopher...

Goodbyes are not forever.
Goodbyes are not the end.
They simply mean I'll miss you
Until we meet again!

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. ~Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, Annie

You and I will meet again
When we're least expecting it
One day in some far off place
I will recognize your face
I won't say goodbye my friend
For you and I will meet again~Tom Petty

Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will. ~Author Unknown

And lastly...
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. ~Theodor Seuss Geisel, attributed